The Role of Grandparents in Separation and Divorce

Separating can affect the whole family, and the issue of other family members needs be discussed at some point during your divorce or separation process. Grandparents, for example, are people who play a huge part in the makeup of your family. They provide support for parents, encouragement for kids, and give stable financial reassurance during times of trouble. If you have children, divorce can affect the grandparent-grandchild relationship – and it must be remembered to bear this in mind.

Divorce forces people to take on different roles in their family. It also divides opinion, and people may feel the need to change their ideas, feeling or viewpoints based on existing loyalties. In fact, grandparents can take on an even more important role – strengthening bonds by becoming more involved in the day-to-day care of children in the family. If, after a divorce, contact ceases between children and their grandparents, it can be traumatic, painful and disconcerting for all involved.

Children need their older relatives in their life for a variety of reasons, and it is important for grandparents to feel they are being a stable rock in the family for uncertain kids who may have a lot of questions about what is happening. Grandparent’s houses are safe havens for children, and it is important that after a separation a relative element of normality remains in the family home. Children may want to confide or express their feelings to grandparents, and the priority quite often needs to remain with them, and not the separating relationship of their parents.